Bleak Taste of Normalcy

Monday and time to return to normalcy. I got up from bed a tad early. I think it was 520am. I felt pretty good despite getting only about 6 hours of quality sleep. Soon I was downstairs exercising contemplating my return to the office. For one reason or another, I felt a sense of doom. Still not sure why, though I'd been concerned about my new accounts at work and the unknown that comes along with all that for the last month. I guess then, my return to work represented facing reality whereas vacation allowed me to have a gap in between.

I followed my tried and true routine as close as possible. Most of it second nature having done this stuff for 15+ Years now. More than anything it was the need to reintroduce discipline relative to time spent on any one thing, especially internet. I fooled around online sipping coffee until 605am. Meditation and stretching went extremely well. I felt really good dressing for my run and heading out the door a bit before 630am.

I ran four miles for the first time in over a week. My legs felt about as good as they have since pre-vacation. I was happy for that, especially since Sunday I felt more drained than ever. The run went well, cleansing even. Something about the strict work routine that feels really good. Now if I could just figure how to make the work itself feel as good. :)

Back at the house near 710am, I proceeded to start some eggs and prep my lunch. I was done with all of that before 730am. I walked Eiknarf before heading to the shower. She was patiently waiting just the other side of the baby gate in Bella's room. I was showered and ready to go by 8am. Mindy stayed in bed after my shower, obviously still not feeling the greatest.

I headed towards the office in the lovely morning sunshine and summer warmth near 820am. Sad. sobering could best describe the feeling heading into the office and up the elevator. Once in my office I went through the usual prep, stowing my food in the fridge and then going for a pitcher of ice water. There weren't a lot of folks around to interact with. My feeling weren't hurt. My boss poked his head in asking me to take a mandatory training class that came about in my absence. I put everything else aside and addressed the online course first thing. It didn't take that long, maybe 25 minutes. Sometimes I think we put too much emphasis on stuff like that. Oh well, welcome to corporate America. Also, at his prompting, I shared a little about my two week vacation. I went on to express my concern with having to do monthly reports while off. He insisted I adjust my time accordingly. I did, but conservatively, taking back only 8 hours when in reality it was something more. I tried to make it clear that it wasn't so much the recovery of vacation hours as it was the inability to fully let go and relax. Pending/looming deadlines were almost constant in my thoughts.

I had a lot to do, including finishing up my primary monthly reports for Wednesday's presentation. I worked on the details pretty much all day. At lunch I opted to head to Home Depot. There I bought some hummingbird nectar. I stopped in Target, right next door, and bought some (can't recall). Back at the office after being out about 45 minutes I finished the major task on my daily to-do list. Before leaving for the day, I scribbled out Tuesday's list.

I left for home near 530pm. I don't think that I called Mindy. I was a little surprised to see dad's minivan in front of the house when I pulled up. He was over for dinner and sitting on the deck talking with Mindy while she grilled chicken. Dinner was grilled chicken served over a bed of rice topped with peach mango salsa. It was quite good. And since it was Monday, that meant a return to gymnastics for Bella. She was excited to be going back after a two week break. Mindy wanted to take her, had an errand to run while out. Those two left near 655am. Dad and I sat at the kitchen table chatting for a good 20-30 minutes. He left for home around 730pm.

After dad left I changed into my comfy lounge clothes then snuggled up in the family room chair with my book. Felt good. Not sure the time when Mindy got back. She headed off to pick-up Bella again around 825pm. I assumed all along that I would be doing it. I appreciated the kind gesture. She knew I was in a bit of shock, getting back in my routine after two weeks.

We watched a little TV through the evening leading up to 930-10pm when Mindy and I headed for bed. I was super sleepy but struggled to fall immediately asleep. I think the few cat naps I took downstairs were the cause.