Blowin' Chunks

I was jostled from my slumber by my ringing Blackberry. It was just after 7am and already work had come a callin’. Crap! I did my level best to compose myself and answer the phone with my wits about me. However, I had trouble collecting my thoughts so agreed to call back after waking up and getting my act together. It didn’t take me long to get it together. I was downstairs and busy with work by 7:20am. In between cycles, I prepped a pot of coffee and even slid in my exercise routine. I felt pretty good after 8.5 hrs of sleep. Ykraps struggled to understand the delay in our walk, but I had a work issue needing my immediate intervention. Once that was resolved, we set out on our walk. I was moving kind of slow but still felt fine. It was a lovely Saturday morning. Back at home I enjoyed coffee all the while tending to work related matters. I drank 2.5 cups of coffee, and not just any coffee, it was Starbucks Columbian roast. It’s very dark, very rich, and very flavorful - far better than our usual Foldgers. Anyway, just about the time that Mindy got up and made it downstairs, I began to feel a little queasy. I chalked it up to the coffee. As 10am approached it was time to get my run on. I ate a couple mini-chocolate donuts just to have some food in my tummy. Jacob agreed to join me on my four mile run, albeit on his bike. In the back of my mind I wondered if he would make it the entire way. He was so excited. I wasn’t about to squash his eagerness. We set out just after 10am. It was a lovely mid-morning, too. It must’ve been about 75 and sunny. Not long into our run I began feeling exhausted and almost overheated. I was sweating far more than usual and sucking wind. Hmm? But even though I wasn’t feeling up to par, I was able to stay the course and keep running. Meanwhile, Jacob was doing great keeping up on his bike. I had to guide/direct him at most street crossings, which required a good bit of energy, but I managed. As the run was winding down I noticed that I was covered in a thick gelatinous sweat. It was much thicker than usual. Along with the heavy sweat, I was feeling a little light headed, too. Once home, it took far longer to cool down and for my breathing to return to normal. I felt as though I had just run in 100 degree heat. After spending another hour cooling down and relaxing, I was ready to begin the day’s yard work, that is as long as work cooperated. Before heading out, I made myself a stick-to-your-ribs bologna & cheese sandwich. It was good, at least at first. Almost immediately I found I had little energy, and being in the sunshine made me feel nauseous. In addition, no matter how much water I drank I could not quench an insatiable thirst. I had that thin extra-white spit you get when you’re mouth is really dry. Ugh! I didn’t feel good at all. I took numerous water breaks while addressing the lawn chores but none did the trick. But I wasn’t about to stop. I couldn’t. We were planning to have guests over for a cookout around 6pm so I wanted my yard chores done early. And by the way, Mindy left for the store to fetch the goodies. She also was headed to Barley’s to fill to growlers with IPA. This pleased me VERY much! As the yard work progressed, I felt worse and worse. And that thirst of mine just could not be quenched. But perhaps worse than that, my stomach felt like I had a big rock in it. I felt completely bloated, like my sandwich wasn’t digesting. Any other time I would’ve burned right through that relatively small sandwich by now. What was up? The last yard chore I did was blowing the dead leaves from the flamingo flower bed and into the pond. That took every ounce of energy that I had left. Geesh! Finally, after finishing my yard chores I headed for the house where Jacob was resting on the sofa watching a movie. I told him that I was sick and heading for a nap. He quipped that I didn’t look ill. Trust me, I was! I wouldn’t dare jump into our bed still drenched in sweat and covered with the little bits of grass clinging to me. Reluctantly, I prepped a shower and even got in before the water was warm. I didn’t care. I was sick! I didn’t even use soap. Nope. Instead, just a quick rinse, towel off, and into my flannel jammie shorts. Finally, I was in bed seeking out that comfy spot. I laid in bed agonizing for quite a while. Eventually, Mindy returned home with her catch. I was concerned that she would be disappointed after finding me ill since I knew how much she was looking forward to entertaining our friends this evening. Still, she was a gracious wife and offered to get me what ever I needed. In addition, she asked if she should cancel plans. I told her not to at first. However, the longer I laid there the worse I felt. The sunlight was bugging me too. Eventually, no longer able to tolerate the bright sunlight, I sought shelter from it under our bed (it sits up really high). That felt so much better. I actually fell asleep there for awhile. After about 20 minutes I mustered a long over due belch. It felt so good. It felt so good that I got enough energy to get out from underneath the bed. But just as I was contemplating heading downstairs to see Mindy, a little voice in my head told me to go lay down by the toilet for few minutes on the cold tile. Ahh! That felt good. Well, it felt good for about 30 seconds. Uh-oh! Nextthing I knew I was heaving a medium size spill. It was mostly liquid and resembled my coffee. I ended up blowing another two piles, the second being the mother load. And I I don’t need to tell anyone just how good it felt to finally empty my sick belly. Afterwards, I was covered in a cold, cold sweat and felt almost euphoric. I thought that I was cured. After cleaning myself up I headed down to see Mindy. She fixed me some ice cold Fresca. It was so good! I couldn’t get enough. She had already called Jeremy & Courtney to cancel plans. I felt bad. She had spent a decent chunk of change and, again, was so looking for ward to their company. I felt better, but no where near perfect. Reality soon kicked in. I was still unwell. Not pukey sick, but still unwell. Among other symptoms, I was very sleepy. Mindy left to run an errand, what I can’t readily recall. But by the time that she returned I had showered, watered the backyard flowers, and began feeling better again. I felt good enough to grill burgers for the four of us. I even dared to crack open a jug of IPA even though I knew I probably shouldn’t. I’d pay for that later. After grilling and eating burgers I began to feel a bit queasy again. At one point Mindy thought that I might blow chunks directly on her. I assured her that I wouldn’t. I moved my sprinkler around all evening long. While out front moving the sprinkler, friend and neighbor, Diane the canoe woman stopped by. She wanted to borrow a reciprocating saw if I had one. I don’t. We chatted for a while, and Mindy eventually joined us. She updated the two of us on her divorce and her ex’s girlfriend. We offered to fix her up with my buddy Bill Gray. Mindy & I both think that they’d do well together. She was agreeable to a meet, and even gave us a business card to help foster such a meeting. Progress! After the kids were in bed I laid on sofa while Mindy plaid solitaire. I went to shut down my sprinkler just before 10pm. I was fading quickly. By then I was feeling a bit feverish and had a bad case of the chills. It took everything I had to get the sprinkler pump shut down. I thought that I might blow chunks out there but didn’t. I headed right to bed. Ugh!