My Favorite Colon

I half expected to wake middle of the night needing to run to the john. That didn’t materialize. I slept soundly until about 5am. No sooner had I completed sit-ups when the need to run to bathroom struck. Just a mild explosion. I decided to skip coffee and instead went with only water. Next up were push-ups.

Played around online and then logged onto my work laptop. I read a couple articles about the Vikings’ quest for a new stadium. Sounds like it’s a done deal. It’s been approved by both the state Senate and House. The Vikings had been seeking a new stadium for the past 10 years. Sounds like they’ll be staying in Minny.

Carried on with my morning ritual, completing both meditation, stretching and waking Mindy. She wanted up by 615am so she could leave the house 15 minutes earlier than usual in order to make it to muffins with mom. I planned to run as normal and then start drinking the 2nd batch of Moviprep after getting the kids on the bus.

Headed off on my run near 630am. It was downright cold – 39 degrees. I wore my pullover fleece as well as running gloves. I knew heading out the door that I’d run only 3 miles. I didn’t feel bad but didn’t have a whole lot of energy either. No surprise, I hadn’t eaten anything since one lone egg after Thursday’s run. However, that said, I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I might be. I finished the run by 7am and then returned to the house to walk Eiknarf.

Mindy was heading out just Eiknarf and I were heading back to the house. Kissed her goodbye. She shared that she’d be home around 1130am to take me to my appointment. Back inside, I went right to my computer and started dealing with work matters. No sense hanging around the kitchen. Had more than a half hour to kill before bus time.

The time went fast. Headed out with the kids at 808am. I insisted they both wear jackets. They both commented that it wasn’t that cold at all. They were right. The sunshine warmed it considerably, but it was still only about 50 degrees. Once the kids were on the bus I scurried back home and fetched the 2nd batch of Moviprep from the fridge. I chugged the first glass quickly. I think because I knew what to expect, it was harder to drink the 2nd batch. In fact, I only drank about 24 ounces and dumped the rest. I felt like if I drank anymore I would throw it back up. Besides, taking my small size into account, and then the fact that almost certainly have me drinking slightly more than I need, I figured 24 ounces was plenty.

This time the stuff was going right through me. I had finished the 2 glass 5 minutes when I needed to run to the bathroom. And since I hadn’t eaten anything beyond the one egg since Wednesday night, I expected the outcome to be nothing but clear liquid. It was liquid alright, but it was clear by any stretch. Nope, it was brown water, and it poured out of me like a faucet. Must’ve hit me two or three more times within the next hour. By the time I was done it was a dark yellow.

I took a break around 10am and headed outside in the sun and sunk a few flowers. Probably spent about 20 minutes doing so. Back at my desk, I worked until 11am then set my out of office and headed up for a shower.

Just before Mindy showed up, I Google mapped the Dublin Ohio Gastroenterology office on Perimeter Dr. Mindy came inside for just a minute. I had everything ready to go. Mindy drove. We arrived just before noon. Nice place. Even though I had read the directions at leas t five times, I’d been nursing a Gatorade and even carried it inside with me. One of the questions the receptionist asked was if I had drank anything after 11am … ugh, no! 

Spotted a familiar face waiting with her husband. Said hello. Mindy brought school papers to grade while I went through the procedure. I sat nervously waiting for them to call me back. I’m guessing it was around 1230pm when the called me back for prep. Similar to an emergency room, there was one big room with several curtained off quarters with a gurney. I was asked to strip and then get into a backless robe. For fun, I put it on backwards. Wasn’t she surprised! The nurse told me where the restroom was. I took advantage, but only peed. I was nervous, but more than ready to get this over with.

They carefully explained the process. Said they would administer a sedative but that I wouldn’t be out but instead, ‘dreamy’. They questioned me about my prep once again. I told the same white lie I told earlier: I followed the directions to a T. Part of the prep was setting me up for the sedative by installing a port in my right arm. Ouch! Not only did I feel a pinch, but it ached more than it should’ve. Another nurse noticed I was tense and had me relax the arm. That made a big difference.

Once I was prepped, they asked if Mindy could come back with me. Sure, why not. Mindy sat there with me until they wheeled me off to a private room just around the corner. They gave her the option of waiting in the prep room or back in the waiting room. Not sure what she chose.

I met Dr Roy, a very nice looking Indian woman, who would be performing the procedure. I joked a little about being ridiculously hungry and that I didn’t ever plan on doing this again. I asked if it would hurt. No, but said I would feel some cramps and discomfort in my gut. Told me the sedative would kick in quickly. She had me get on my left side. I remember feeling the sedative kicking in only seconds after starting it. Felt good. I then remember feeling an instrument moving around my butt. I think I asked if they were just getting started. They replied, no, were finished. Next thing I remember Mindy was smiling at me in the prep room. We were all finished.

I was full of air. Lot of gas. Apparently told Mindy I needed to pass gas before I could leave. I passed lots of it in a hurry. I was anxious to head for home. Mindy explained that they found nothing abnormal but because my prep was only fair’, they suggested I come back in five years instead of ten. Ugh, sure, count on it! I was woozy but otherwise OK. I was excited to be on the other side of the ordeal, a place I’d been looking forward to all week long.