Negotiating with a Child

Translated: From Bella - To Jimmy

Please make my omelet don't forget.

For the first time in a long while, I was up and out of bed before 5:30am. Since the recent time change, I want nothing more than to curl up and sleep for another hour or so. I’m sure that’s it - the time change. It’s amazing what being up for that extra 5-10 minutes will do. I was able to glide through my entire morning routine without being rushed during any one phase. I even got out for my run a little early, which got me home around 7:10am – plenty of time to see the kids and Mindy before they left. I half expected the weather to be much colder this morning but it was pretty much on par with the last two. It was 47 degrees out the door. The biggest difference was the cloud cover and the forecast, which called for nearly stable temperatures all day long. We weren’t expecting to get much beyond the lower 50s. In fact, I don’t see the 70s anywhere in the ten day forecast. But they’ll be back. Mindy & the wee ones left at their usual departure time – 7:25am. I finished my scrambled eggs and fruit then picked up the kitchen even before heading up for a shower. I wore blue jeans and a work logo’d black tee-shirt. Jacob and I left the house at 7:55am. I took the football along. We hadn’t tossed it at the bus stop for a week or two. We had fun tossing it around. Kenny & Lilly came out and chatted for a minute or two just before the bus arrived. The bus pulled up at 8:03am. I grabbed my gear from inside the house then headed on to work in the Trooper. Gas was down to $1.96. I’ll be needing some soon, but not today. I arrived to work around 8:22am. The morning went well, nothing too overwhelming. I had no immediate plans to leave the office to run errands at lunch, so I simply stayed busy all day long. I ate two containers of nuts after finding I still had Wednesday’s on my desk. I wasn’t real hungry, so the only other thing I ate was my packed fruit. Mindy & I gave daughter Lindsey until today to give us an answer on our proposed temporary custody of the kids. To that end, I drafted and sent an email to Kelly detailing our intentions. We also had a parent/teacher conference scheduled with Rocky’s kindergarten teacher after work. Kelly & Lindsey would be there, too. We anticipated having a full blown face to face discussion with Kelly & Lindsey after the conference. Kelly called me late afternoon to let me know that she received my email. She expressed support for our position, but shared that it was Lindsey’s decision. Sadly, Lindsey’s simply not capable of making smart decisions. After all, that’s why we’re where we’re at now. I talked with Mindy a short time later. She informed me that she was picking up a pizza for the kids, and reminded me that Kara would be over around 6pm to watch the kids while we attended Rocky’s parent/teacher conference. I left for home at 5:35pm. Traffic was light making my drive home a breeze. It was sunny and cool – just about 50 degrees. Kara was already at the house by the time that I got home, and the kids had already eaten. Jacob walked Ykraps for the second evening in a row. What a good boy! Mindy & I both freshened up a bit before leaving at 6:05pm. We arrived at St Mary Magdalene around 6:20pm. Mrs. Dent was busy with another parent. We hung out in the hall admiring some of Rocky’s artwork. Lindsey & Kelly showed up a minute or two after us. It wasn’t long before Mrs. Dent ushered us all into her classroom. She was very good at running the meeting. She presented Rocky’s strengths first, and then talked about how much she adores him. Once she had everyone nodding in agreement she delivered the big blow. She recommended holding Rocky back for another year of kindergarten. From that point on, her focus rarely left Lindsey. Lindsey, no big surprise, was a bit distraught even though we had already told her as much since we knew this was coming a couple weeks ago. Honestly, the deck was stacked against his success from the get-go. Rocky never attended any type of preschool and he didn't turn five until late July. That makes him one of the youngest kindergarteners. Born five or six weeks later he wouldn't have been allowed to enroll this year anyhow. Still, Lindsey took it hard, but Mrs. Dent did a masterful job of reassuring her that it wasn’t anything she had done and that it would serve Rocky best in the long run. Additionally, she assured Lindsey that she’d be his teacher again next year and how much she liked having him and how she would lean on him to help the others. We were the last meeting of the night. We spent a few minutes in the hallways looking at the old class photos prominently posted. We found Courtney & Ashley's class pictures framed and hung. Lindsey, of course, didn’t finish at Magdalene. She moved onto Hilliard, but that’s a story for another day. At my prompting, we agreed to meet at the Wendy’s on Sullivant and Crescent Ave. to discuss the ongoing care of the boys. I offered to buy everyone dinner (big spender- ay), but Lindsey was the only one wanting something to eat. Mindy had a drink. I had an M&M twisted Frosty. Kelly wanted nothing. BTW, the Frosty left a bit to be desired. Don’t get one, at least not from that Wendy’s. We talked about a bunch of lighter topics before diving into the situation with the boys. When we finally started discussing the care of the boys, I cut right to the chase. And in typical Lindsey fashion she responded with a simple ‘no’. I had to laugh because a simple no wasn’t going to cut it. Of course, what we asked for was legal temporary custody while we continue our care for the boys. What was originally undefined but thought to be a few weeks and maybe a couple months looks like it could be as long as 1.5 years. We’re game but only with custody (decision making rights). Given her druthers, Kelly would keep it on the down low too, but also isn’t willing to allow Lindsey to bring the boys back to her place to live. And I might add, for all the right reasons. The whole idea of us having the boys is to allow Lindsey the freedom to focus entirely on herself: get a job, car, & apartment – reestablish herself. But in classic Lindsey fashion, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I called her bluff and said, then come get the boys. The dialogue went on for about an hour with Lindsey never conceding anything, really. From my perspective it’s like talking to a 12 year old. But honestly, it’s close to what I expected. She pretty much thinks if she lays low it will pass. It won’t, however. As we parted (it was late and we needed to get home) I informed her that I needed her final answer by Saturday. We went our way, and Kelly & Lindsey went theirs. We arrived home around 8:15pm. Mindy couldn’t pay Kara unless she wanted a check. Kara simply asked that she give the money to her mother tomorrow at school. She left for home and Mindy got busy giving the kids baths. I helped by getting Bella through her shower. During the process, Bella asked me again to remember to make her cheese omelet in the morning. She decided to write me a note and taped it on my bathroom mirror – too cute! We had the kids tucked into bed after baths, showers, and reading by 8:45pm. Jacob was the only shower exception. He took one Wednesday night. Downstairs, Mindy played on her PC while I sipped a beer and watched some TV. I can’t readily recall what I watched. Honestly, it was more to numb the mind than anything else. Mindy headed up to bed by 9:30pm. I promised to be up shortly. She guessed that I would dose off on the sofa. I almost did but caught myself and headed up to bed just before 10pm.