Grounded Hogs Day

What I remember most about waking Sunday morning was just how stiff and sore my legs were. Holy smoke! Had to be Saturday's yoga class. Apparently worked muscles otherwise dormant during my daily stretch and run. Needless to say, I was more than surprised.

Enjoyed some alone time at my PC with a cup of coffee. The weather certainly wasn't conducive to skiing. With a temperature hovering just above freezing, we were getting rain instead of the snow that was previously forecasted. The updated weather forecast showed us right on the edge of the rain/snow line. It looked like MRM would be mostly snow while those of us in Columbus get a wintry mix. Decided early on that I wasn't going to push the ski button. I needed the rest more than a last minute ski day.

I got a three mile run in before Mindy was up, but she was awake and downstairs by the time I was back. It was Super Bowl Sunday, but we didn't have any special plans. The neighbors invited us down but hadn't solidified any plans. I spent the late morning and early afternoon fooling around online. Jacob had a basketball game at 4pm which we planned to attend. We'd use the basketball as the hand-off venue.

Did very little through the middle part of the day. Showered up for the basketball game around 3pm. Still not feelin' 100%. Ugh! We met Jodie & Larry, as well as niece Lindy at Jacob's game. Of course Jimaken and Molly were there too. They brought both kids. Almost forgot, Grandpa Tom (Jimakens' dad) was there too.

Somewhat uncharacteristic for Jacob's basketball team, they weren't hitting any of their shots. And the thing was, the other team was even worse. Jacob wasn't scoring, but he was getting rebounds, which as center, that's a vital role. When it was all said and done, his team won again, and by something like 10 points. We made arrangements for Jimaken to pull his car around to ours at the opposite end of the school to hand off of the kids' luggage.

Both kids got in the car in horribly negative moods. Jacob was bitter, I am certain, after what he perceived as a poor performance in his basketball game. Bella, we surmised, was simply picking up on his queues. Right away Jacob started in about how he couldn't wait for us to leave on our trip. He then went on to bash us for coming to his game. It wasn't just us, though. He bitched about the other family members coming to see him play, too. Negative, rude, negative, rude all the way home. At least twice I tried to divert the discussion elsewhere, but no matter what we talked about more cantankerous remarks followed, especially from Jacob. We shared that the neighbors invited for us for the Super Bowl but that the each of them needed to take care of any homework before hand. Jacob pissed and moaned about that too. I could tell that Mindy was sad with the way he was talking to us.

Inside the house he continued pushing back against whatever Mindy asked him to do, even to the point of defiantly raising his voice. I'd had enough. I asked for his phone. However, instead of giving it to me he threw it to the floor and walked away muttering disparaging comments along the way. Nope.

And while I preach the practice of finding and respecting the gap between stimulus and response, this time I went totally by instinct. After a little more back talk, I grab him by the shirt and pinned him to the wall advising him to do as he's told and without any back talk. It must've scared him shitless. He screamed for me to let him up, but I wouldn't let him up until he calmed down. Perhaps after a minute or so I finally let him up and dispatched him to his room. He was headed there, but on his way up the stairs he directed a big ol' FU my way.

Mindy didn't want me to pursue it right then, but I felt I had to. I followed him to his room where I called him out for his verbal assault. He made it clear that I wasn't welcome in his room, though I really didn't care. Later, I wished I hadn't, but at the time I couldn't resist and thumped him on his chest. That really set him off. He hollered like a baby, obviously upset that I hit him. Later, I was disappointed that I allowed the incident to become a confrontation instead of problem resolution opportunity. For 5 minutes our home was like the set of a Jerry Springer episode. And what's probably even be worse, Bella was tormented by it all as well. I think it's fair to say, that none of us were happy with the way that last hour unfolded.

Afterwards, several thoughts rushed through my mind and almost all of them depressing. One, memories of Kelly & I dealing with a young and defiant Lindsey, and how poorly we collectively handles it, and how sad and empty it left me feeling. Two, how I/we might've handled it more constructively. Three, how at my age the last thing I want is a tumultuous relationship with those I am sharing my home with.

Until dinner, Jacob remained in his room. And later at the dinner table very few words were spoken After dinner Bella headed down to the neighbors Super Bowl party. Jacob calmed down and got busy with his homework. And even though he was effectively grounded from screens and outdoors, we let him watch the Super Bowl while he completed his homework. Once clean-up was completed, Mindy & I opted to walk down to the neighbors to watch part of the Super Bowl with all of them. By then it was near halftime.

I don't think that I've been to Kenny & Chrissy's place since before T.G. I think it was neighbor Teri's 50th birthday party. As usual, they had a house full. Neither Mindy or I were drinking. I went with only water. We watched the halftime show with Bruno Mars and then part of the third quarter. Seattle was putting a hurtin' on Peyton Manning and the Broncos. Mindy and I headed for home at 825pm but let Bella stay later. Told her to be home at 845pm.

We watched the rest of the Super Bowl from the family room. We were all rooting for the Broncos but enjoyed watching how well the Seahawks played. It was their day. Very impressive. We watched a little of the trophy presentation then headed for bed, where we rejoined the after-game festivities.

Mindy & I struggled to fall asleep, both of us still bothered by the way our afternoon unfolded with the kids and more specifically, Jacob. We talked about our strategy for dealing with it moving forward.