Fixin' my Peepers!

Finally here, LASIK day, I rolled out of bed and reached for my eye glasses for what I hoped would be the very last time. As one might expect, I felt a little more incentive to get the morning moving. I did my sit-ups, checked the weather, then did push-ups. For the time being, anyway, it was clear and about 40 degrees. The forecast, however, wasn't as pretty, calling for rain to move in mid-morning followed by dropping temperatures and possibly even snow overnight. Yikes! More than anything, I just wanted the rain to hold out long enough for Safelite to finally replace my windshield while at work. I was guaranteed a first appointment given my need to leave the office by 11am for my LASIK appointment. I woke Mindy at 615am and then did my meditation and stretching. My calf felt better than the day before. I carefully massaged it during stretch time, employing Mindy's strategy (rubbing upward). Seemed to help. I ran just three miles for the 6th day in a row in an attempt to give myself a little break to heal. It's surprising how beneficial chopping off one mile can be for healing. The kids were eager to be heading to grandma Sharon's with a field trip to Anthony Thomas planned for the afternoon. Mindy figured to meet me back at home around 1145am. They left at 715am. I was showered and groomed by 750am. I took five minutes to make sure I had everything necessary for my LASIK even though I knew I'd be returning home beforehand. I did my eye drop routine as directed, too. Off to work. I arrived at work by 825am. Remembering I had my camera in tow, I snapped a photo of myself entering the building with eye glasses on for hopefully the last time. The morning in the office went incredibly fast. Safelite arrived at 900am after a call head. I must say, these guys have customer service down to a science - very good. I spotted Dan the Safelite man parked by my Trooper from my fifth floor office. He phoned a minute or so later to ask that I unlock the doors for access. I walked out and greeted Dan L.. He was very articulate and friendly, explaining the process and how it was his intention to be fully completed by 1015am understanding my need to be out of there by 11am. He phoned again around 930am, just after removing my old windshield, to advise of rust in the upper windshield bed. Needed me to come see. Dan pointed out the surface rust and advised of its long term effects, which included possible water leakage down the sometime road. His plan was to grind it out and then apply a primer before the windshield glue. Agreed that the likely cause was having four windshields replaced in seven years. Lastly, he shared that the rust control process would add about 15 minutes of work. I worked until 1035am when the call came that he was done and needed my $250 deductible. My boss happened to be in my office and shared that I could just plan on leaving for the day. I took him up on the offer, packed up my laptop and belongings and headed out. Just in the nick of time. It had begun to rain just as Dan finished up. The universe and I were in sync. For some reason, my debit card wouldn't take. I had to use my credit card instead. Homeward! I arrived home right around 11am. I made myself lunch, a cheese burrito, knowing I wouldn't likely eat again until late evening. Furthermore, since I'd be taking a Valium just before the LASIK procedure, I needed to have food in my belly. Mindy got home around 1155am. While waiting, I posted a couple days of text and photos on my blog. Just as planned, we headed towards Columbus LASER at 12noon. I drove. It rained for the entire trip up - about 20 miles. We arrived early - about 1230pm. After a warm greeting I was told to relax in the waiting room. I chose to read a magazine - Discovery - while Mindy chose to grade school papers. I read an article about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and how the symptoms closely mimic hyperactivity. Sad. Soon I was called back to begin the process, which for me included another eye exam since it had been more than 5 months since I was last in. Dr Pipo did the re-exam. Good news. No changes. Next, I was handed off to Lynda then Cindy, where we reviewed the pre and post-op instructions and then settled the financial aspects of the procedure. Lastly, Cindy gave me a Valium and loaded my eyes with drops. During the procedure review Cindy explained that contrary to what I might've been told early on, I won't be able to drive Friday. She went further to explain that treating farsightedness takes far longer to heal - several days - before distant vision adjusts, and then months for total correctness. She also reminded me that I should plan on needing readers. I already knew that. They sent Mindy & I both back to the lobby to wait. I wanted to pee before the process and headed out to the building lobby to address the need. Upon reentering, the Valium had already started kicking in. I decided to add a little levity. I did the ol' head smack into the corner of a wall as if I was stoned and couldn't see. Immediately silence and then despair fell over the few customers, receptionist, and Mindy who were quietly going about their business in the lobby. I quickly turned and said, just kidding! The place erupted with laughter. Another LASIK patient thanked me saying that she needed the levity. Finally, the call came. It was time. Time to get my eyes fixed! As it turned out, Mindy wasn't permitted to watch. Said they used to have an observation room but converted it to an office. Said I'd return shortly. She waited in the lobby. Here's goes nothing! They asked if I was nervous - excited. Not that nervous but excited. But then again, having full knowledge of the process, I wasn't exactly looking forward to having my corneas sliced and peeled back. In a dark room I was asked to lie down in what I would liken to a dental chair. There must've been about four people, including Dr Beran gathered round. My eyelids were taped back and then doused with more eye drops. Next, mini forceps were used to crank and hold my right eye opened. The laser machine hovered just overhead. Dr Beran calmly talked through the process explaining each step. The laser machine was pulled presumably within millimeters of my eye. I could see nothing but blue dotted lights in each corner and then a very bright green light in the center. Soon, hundreds of tiny red dots filled the area between the green and blue light. Dr Beran said I'd feel some vibration and only minor discomfort as they drug the slicer across the skin of my eye. That was the stressful part. Now the LASER, which takes no more than 30 seconds. Dr Beran warned that I might smell burning. I did. Smelt like burning hair. I hear an assistant nearby - 25%, 50%, 75%, done! Lastly, Dr Beran slides the cornea flap back into place then gently strokes it with what seemed like a paint brush while another adds more eye drops. Next eye! Wash, rinse, and repeat. The left eye was a bit more difficult since I knew exactly what was coming, but like the right, we were done in no time. Before walking out they taped the clear plastic eye shields over my eyes and ushered me out. I thanked and shook Dr Beran's hand as I exited. They confirmed my 945am post-op appointment and sent me on my way. I was advised to keep my eyes closed for the next 4-6 hours. I opened my right eye just enough to see my way to the Honda - just a slit. Mindy fumed when I insisted on driving. Who's in charge here, woman? Ugh ... kidding! Mindy drove us home. I tried sleeping but didn't, although I kept my eyes closed the entire time. Once home I hurried upstairs, stripped out of my jeans and slid into bed asking Mindy to bring ice water, Triscuits, and the TV remote. I was hungry. I had her bring me three Advil too. My eyes stung and felt sandy. I never intended to watch TV. Instead, I planned to find something interesting to listen to. I surfed blindly up and down the channel line-up stopping on ESPN then CNN, but neither suited me. I hate the news! I ended up on some program about crime solvers and stayed tuned in for the duration. I dosed off a few times completely losing track of the time. Mindy came up at some point advising that she was going after the kids and would be taking Jacob to get his new soccer cleats and possibly dinner. I wanted nothing. Next thing I knew, Mindy & the kids were home. Mindy shared that it was 630pm. Are you kidding me? Wow! How'd that happen? I decided that I wouldn't up until 715-730pm (5 hours). I napped a little and listened to more TV. Come 730pm, I was anxious to check out the results, although keeping my expectations in check after being advised that it will take days for the real results to flourish. I cracked open my right eye with the shields still in place. The first thing I noticed was the bedroom clock. I could actually read it. Nice. Next, my left eye. Problem! I couldn't get my eye lids to separate. Mindy came up and asked how it was going. Not good. I asked if Dr Beran's office had called like they said they would. Mindy said they had but that she missed the call, being busy with the kids. Great, thanks dear! I asked that she call and ask how I might get my eye opened. Tanya answered. Mindy handed the phone to me. Tanya asked that I remove the tape from the shield and use my fingers to pull the eye lids apart from the eye socket bones. That worked! I had a lot of crusty build up, especially on my left eye. I peered into the bathroom mirror taking notice of the labels on the nearby toiletries. I could read everything. Both eyes were blood shot, the left severely. I had to leave the shields on - doctors orders. I headed downstairs to eat some beef & noodles that Mindy warmed for me. I was really hungry. The food was good. The kids marveled at my eyes under shields. I had Bella convinced that I'd be wearing these permanently. I could see the confusion in her eyes. I turned on the TV just to help measure my eyesight. I could see plainly, at least as good as one could expect just hours after surgery and still wearing eye shields. Like many LASIK survivors shared, I was experiencing the halo effect around bright lights (the back yard spot lights). Mindy & the kids headed to bed around 9pm. I stayed up feeling wide awake. I ended up pouring a couple IPA's from my Barley's growler. It hit the spot, but I couldn't seem to get a buzz. I headed for bed around 11pm.