How Can This Be? May 21 - 24

Thursday, May 21

A gloomy, cool day  in late May. It was cloudy, cool and breezy. In fact, felt more like March. Ran 4 miles. Work from the Hilliard office. Made a run to Wal-Mart at lunch time where I bought a couple more colorful calibrachoa, one as a replacement for another that died already. I guess when one plants as many flowers as we do, best to plan on some collateral damage.

 Bella opted out of gymnastics, instead electing to stay home and play with Makayla. Mindy made fresh green beans rotisserie chicken for dinner. I ate more veggies than meat. After dinner and clean-up, I opted to get the new basement TV and cable box set-up. Didn't take long at all to get the cable connectors crimped on and the box hooked up. I did, however, struggle a little getting the stand installed correctly on the 55" TV. The instructions were weak. After stressing out  for 20-30 minutes I got it figured out, but like a few reviews I read, the large screen leaned uncomfortably forward by as much as an inch and one half. Not only that, but once I ran the set-up I discovered that the cable box wasn't activated. Got a pop-up advising that I call Time Warner. Oh boy!

Had to call twice after the first call dropped due to poor cell service in the basement, but then again, we get crappy cell service upstairs, too. Sam finally got my new cable box activated. Picture looks incredibly sharp, and far more true HD that our family room TV, but it's only 720p.

Still uncomfortable with the screen leaning forward so much, I began to tinker to see if maybe the screws on the stand could be further tightened. I carefully supported the screen with one hand while attempting to tighten the two phillips screw at the stands rear. It looked as if the mount wasn't seated correctly on the stands. Snap! Even though I tightened carefully, I heard a snap and the screen suddenly rocked back easily. My heart sunk. I was sure that I'd just cracked the mount or possibly even ruined the stand. Now the two rear screws had at least another 1/4" of play to tighten down. But on closer inspection, there didn't seem to be a crack or break. Instead, I suspect a small plastic impediment was prohibiting the mount from seating correctly onto the stand and the snap I heard was it breaking off. Once I retightened the two rear screws the screen sat tall, plumb and erect. :)

As 9pm approached, I plopped down on the carpeted floor and watched the last few minutes of a Big Bang rerun and then the start of the NBA semi final game between Golden State and Houston. Mindy came down briefly to let me know that she was retiring to bed.

Sometime that evening I learned that dad was back in the hospital after experiencing extreme weakness to the point that he told Bobby that he wanted to go back to the ER. They planned on doing a full torso scan. Bobby planned to remain there with him.

Friday, May 22

Partly sunny near 70 forecasted, which was a welcome change for the two prior days. I ran three miles and planned to work from home.  I sent brother Bob a text asking for an update on dad's condition. He responded pretty quickly that there wasn't an update yet. It was around 2pm when he sent a thorough update, essentially sharing that they were taking him into surgery to install tubes into his lungs to drain fluid and to get a biopsy. I sent the update to my brothers, Mindy, mom, and daughters.

I worked straight through the day until about 230pm when I headed out to address the weekly lawn chores. The grass was as thick and lawn as it's been all spring. I raised the blades on the mower decks to 4". I planted a few flowers too. I was admittedly nervous about dad's procedure.

After finishing the lawn I opted to give the BM'er a bath. It needed one badly. As usual, it cleaned up real nice. By the time I finished, the kids were home from school. Mindy was home around 345pm. Still no update on the outcome of dad's procedure. I decided to give the Accord a bath too. Jimaken came to pick-up the kids around 4pm. They were heading to Toledo for a soccer tournament, which would go through Monday if Jacob's team kept winning. I can't think of a more miserable way to spend the Memorial Day weekend. :) Mindy watered the front flowers while I put all the my lawn tools away.

Bob sent me a text just before 5pm asking that I give him a call. The news was startling and bleak. Mindy saw me talking on the phone and came close. I did my best to minimize any emotion. Agreed to meet Bob at the hospital at 9am Saturday morning where we would talk with the surgeon who performed the procedure. There wasn't any reason to go up to the hospital that night since Dad would be out of it until sometime Saturday. As soon as the call was over I shared the sad news with Mindy. As I understood it, not only did they find lung cancer, but said that his right lung was completely incased in it and on his liver too. Said they believed it to be advanced stage 4. They still didn't know the type. We wouldn't know that for a couple of days. Once they determine that then a treatment program can be designed. Needless to say, Mindy and I both had a good cry.

With such sobering news, I didn't think I was up for going to CBC where we planned to meet Joe & Peggy to discuss Ashley's wedding ceremony. However, before making a final decision, I told her I wanted to take a shower, which I needed regardless of our evening plans. Like they often do, a shower left me feeling refreshed physically and emotionally. And after further consideration I decided an evening out with friends might be just what the doctor ordered. Mindy reached out to neighbors Pat & Lisa who agreed to meet us at CBC too. Thinking it was near 645pm when Mindy and I headed out.

Arrived before the others and still many parking spots available. Equally, there were plenty of stools available at the bar which is highly unusual, especially on a Friday. Opted for a new CBC small batch IPA called Thunderlips. Very hoppy and one I would classify between their bottled IPA and Bodhi. Kevin and Vince tending bar. Kevin quietly shared that he and his wife recently divorced. He didn't elaborate much, just said it was better for both of them.

Our friends arrived a little after 7pm. We had a beer at the bar and moved to a table about 30 minutes later. Dinner with friends was a nice diversion from the thumping news I received earlier that evening, like therapy. Enjoyed three beers in total. Mindy drive home. Pat, Lisa, Joe and Peggy were said to be joining us at our house, but Joe & Peggy didn't come after all, Told Pat that they were too tired. Joe's said to run out of gas fairly early these days. :)

We showed off and used our basement for the first time, spending about an hour or so there with Pat & Lisa. Thinking it close to 11pm when they headed for home. We needed to be at the hospital at 9am, meaning I needed to be up no later than 7am realistically.

Saturday, May 23

Not sure the exact time when I woke and headed downstairs. It was sunny and warm though. I wasted little time enjoying some coffee then heading out for a run. The plan was to meet Tommy and Bobby at the hospital at 9am where we would meet dad's thoracic surgeon to discuss his diagnosis and prognosis. Needless to say, I was nervous and scared.

Parked at a meter out front. Met the brothers I think on the 4th floor ICU. Not only was dad in ICU but was in isolation too, after testing positive for an unknown bacteria, which the doctors later said might be TB. Even though they said the chances were very slim, they weren't taking chances. No one was allowed in without being masked. We waited in the waiting room for a while and eventually decided to enter ICU on our own where we meandered to dad's room which I would liken to a fishbowl (all glass wall). Again, his room was closed off with a warning sign. We glanced through the glass. He was asleep, intubated and looked about as content and peaceful as he has in a long while. Dr. Vaidi, the thoracic surgeon, met us in the waiting room a few minutes later to review dad's diagnosis. He words were very measured as he delivered the news, I suppose being careful not to cause shock or undue pain.

The plan was to remove the breathing tube and slowly bring him around until he was comfortable on his own. And then as soon as the bacteria scare was lifted, take him to a room off the ICU floor. So many days past that one, my recollection may be a little skewed, but I think we headed home for a few hours with designs on meeting Bob and April at Dad's house to clean it up a little in preparation for his homecoming, which they said could be by the end of the following work week. We planned on returning to the hospital later that afternoon when Dr Vaidi said he would likely be coherent enough for visitors.

At home we were soon visited by Ashley and Olivia. Playing with GD Olivia was great therapy, so full of energy and enthusiasm, not to mention that she adores me unconditionally. We played for a couple of hours, and because it was so warm and sunny, we played in the hose. I soaked her good. :) We met Bob and April at dad's place around 2pm. They had already been there for a few. The goal was to clean but also rid much of the unnecessary clutter. Bob & April spent quite a bit time sorting through dad's collection of canned goods, tossing out what was expired, which amounted to quite a bit. Dad's always been a bit of a hoarder and with Sheila's passsing I guess he had no one to reel him in. He some much stuff, but not only that, several items he had many multiples of, like flash lights, DVD players, a couple even still in the box. In his family room alone, I'm quite sure he has at least three different sound systems.

We spent a good three hours sorting, tossing, organizing and cleaning. I made a run home to get our picture hanging kit so we could remount the fireplace mirror that had come down for one reason or another. I got a call from dad's sister (aunt Char) wanting an update. At the time, dad wasn't aware of his diagnosis so we were careful and measured with any news we shared. I only shared that we were awaiting test results but that they thought it might be cancer. The thought of sharing that news was difficult and certainly didn't seem real.

Sticky and dirty after three hours of cleaning, Mindy and I headed home for much needed showers. My best recollection tells me that we drove the BM'er to Side Swipe Brewing. We were hungry too, but never did eat dinner. It was a gorgeous starry, evening.

Sunday, May 24

The plan was much the same as Saturday, run, shower, then head up to the hospital. And once again, the plans was to meet Dr Vaidi at 9am in the ICU waiting area.The most important point being who, how and when to tell dad of his diagnosis. I wasn't looking forward to it at all. In fact, I was very nervous, full of anxiety and afraid, let alone sad. I must've mulled over the initial encounter a thousand times in my head never once coming to terms with how we would handle the discussion.

Dr Vaidi, a Romanian,  is easy to like and possesses excellent bedside manner. He shared right away that dad was doing good and conscious. He validated that dad didn't yet know his diagnosis. Collectively, the three of us - me, Bob, Mindy - agreed that Dr Vaidi should tell dad about the cancer. For one, I didn't feel capable and wanted dad to have the full picture. Then, once he had the news, we would be head into the ICU to be with him. Complicating the plan, however, was the fact that he remained in isolation due to the unknown bacteria scare. Told us it better to communicate via phone through the glass. Oh boy!

After about 10 minutes, Dr Vaidi returned to let us know that he had explained the diagnosis to dad and that he was alert and looking forward to seeing us. Said he took the news about as well as could be expected. Nervously, I knew I had to find the strength and courage to walk into the ICU and face dad. I felt like a coward. Through the glass wall, we waved and gawked, eventually agreeing to call his cell phone. Bob talked first, exchanging pleasantries and what not. Bob then offered to pass his phone to me, but I was too choked up to talk and shook it off suggesting instead that Mindy talk. She talked with dad for a minute or two, eventually handing the phone to me. It was hard, my voice quivering, but I managed to smile and chat. Not really knowing what to say, I shared that it felt ridiculous to be looking at dad through glass and likened it to visiting the gorillas at the zoo. And in true Dad fashion, he immediately began imitating a gorilla, scratching his side and then acting as if he was playing with his excrements. He laughed. We all laughed while also crying. Touching moment I won't soon forget. Right then his phone died cutting off our only means of communication. He motioned with a wave that he wanted us to squeeze in close together so he could see us better. Apparently the sun's glare made it hard for him to see us.

We didn't stick around long. Dad needed rest. Darwin & Connie were hosting a bday party for Lane who recently turned 15. We head to their place around 730pm with Jacob and Bella as well as three of our grandkids (Olivia, Rocky, and Landon).  We had fun. Mindy left earlier than I, taking all the kids home with her. I stuck around for another hour or so, eventually getting a ride home from Connie. A little drama to close out the night. Their son Lane wanted to go fishing at the river with friends, but when Connie & Darwin refused, he shouted at his mother and took off on his bike in a huff.