Funeral & Wedding - The Other Side - June 8 - 26

Monday, June 8

I slept poorly and woke for good around 430am. Like most June days, my thoughts turned to dad at nearly every turn, though I suppose that's completely normal. I exercised and ran like any other day, and planned to go into the office for the first time in more than a week. I wanted to tell my boss face to face rather than sending an email. Brother Bob sent a text early that he had made arrangements to meet with Schoedinger Funeral home at 2pm.

It was Mindy's last day of school with students, though Tuesday would be her official last day. I think the normalcy of being with her students helped elevate her mood some.

I waited for about an hour to tell my boss of dad's passing. He was on a call and busy with work matters prior. He told me to take as much time as I needed and emphasized the fact that I had 3 bereavement days to use too. I worked at the office until 1pm or so. From there I headed to Macy's to pick-up my new suit that was due back from alterations that day. Took a while to locate someone to help me. Also bought a new black belt.

Arrived at Schoedinger a couple minutes early. I wasn't at all looking forward to the planning process, the emotions still so raw. Glenn was out east doing something during the day. Somewhat late in the day I gave him the Schoedinger meeting details. Wasn't sure he'd make it back in time for the meeting but he did. He met Bob and I there about 10-12 minutes after we'd gotten started. I was very glad he made it.

We wrote a simple obituary, picked a tribute/memorial card, casket, vault, etc. We left there after 2 hours with lots more work to do in a relatively short amount of time. Among the tasks, Glenn agreed to write a tribute piece, I agreed to pull together some tasteful music and help create the video photo memorial as well photo boards. All that might not sound like a lot but it is, especially given that it all needed to be completed by Tuesday at 2pm in order to be ready for calling hours on Wednesday 2-4pm & again from 6-8pm. The funeral would be the following day, Thursday at 10am.

Tuesday

Up very early. Couldn't sleep. Exercise, meditation, stretch and run were completed by 8am. I was more than a little stressed with the 2pm deadline and so much work to completed. I worked on the music and photo DVD while Glenn did the writing and the photo collage. Meanwhile, it was Mindy's last day of school.

Turned out, we had to make two trips to Schoedinger because the music CD I made wouldn't play on their equipment. My music is in MP4 audio files. I returned home and converted into ACC format and downloaded it to my old iTouch which I left in the care of the Schoedinger after confirming that it played over their sound system.

Felt a sense of relief having the prep work behind us. Glenn and I stopped by dad's place on the way home in hopes of finding a few more artifacts and photos for the calling hours and funeral. We found a several more good photos for display. We also grabbed one of dad's signature blue puff vests he always wore. Foolishly assumed he had only one, but within eyeshot there were at least three. :) In addition. we found a couple tribute plaques for his fallen dogs, Shep and Lou. Oh, we also grabbed a large can of WD-40 to display proudly, too. Dad used it to fix everything, much the same way the Greek fixed everything with Windex. :)

Wednesday June 9

I woke early and to be quite honest, I was very nervous about the day ahead. Exercise, meditate, stretch and run as normal. And while the official calling hours weren't until 2pm, the immediate family was invited to be there at 1pm. That was our goal. We also had plans to host most of the family at our house between calling hours. In preparation, I made a run to Giant Eagle where I picked up all sorts of eats and drinks. Mindy insisted we'd have lots of food provided by others, but still.

For starters, David & Anita sent a Honey Baked ham and cheesecake. Thanks Danita! While out, I also got my car washed. Just helped make me feel a little better. Gloria was at the house soon after my return. She brought lots of goodies too: sloppy joe's, brownies, etc. Mindy was right. We had lots and lots of food. There are a lot of people that love  and care about us.

We left for the Schoedinger near 1245pm. The entire Schoedinger staff was phenomenal - kind and ready to accommodate and serve. As expected, the initial view of dad brought a waterfall of emotion and tears for most of us. He looked good, and certainly better than he had for the last couple weeks in the hospital. The family hour passed quickly and soon friends and acquaintances arrived to pay their last respects.

It's a true shame that it often takes calling hours/funerals to bring out family, friends, and acquaintances that haven't been seen for years, and in some cases even decades. And dad's calling hours were no exception. There were far too many to mention, but believe me, there were plenty and from all walks of life. The evening calling hours brought a packed house. I was very happy to see some of my closest peeps. It certainly helps with the healing/grieving process.

Thursday June 10 - a funeral (Gloria's 81st bday)

The previous 3 days and again Thursday, temps soared into the 90s coupled with high humidity. I was up near 6am, and completed exercise and a run by 730am. I wore my new black suit for the first time. However, because it was so warm and humid, I opted to skip a white shirt and tie in favor of a handsome polo. Left for the funeral home near 845am. Just before heading out the door, I grabbed perhaps my favorite, most worn running ballcap that certainly has my DNA all over it. I planned to send it with dad in his casket for eternity.

For the past couple days, Mindy had been working on a eulogy. She, brother Bob and Uncle Kenny asked to speak. Having done it before, I thought I might do so as well, but the emotions were just to raw. I opted to listen to the others and eulogize dad on my own while running. Mindy added a few items for me.

The pastor delivering the official eulogy did a superb job and both Bob & Mindy brought tears and laughter from the entire room. Uncle Kenny did a great job too, reading a poem he found in grandma Wright's bible and telling a couple brief stories honoring dad.

With 5 Wright boys, we needed a sixth to serve as a pallbearer. We collectively agreed to ask cousin Brian, aunt Char's eldest son. We watched as they closed the casket, seeing for the first time ever how they lower the body deeper into the casket before closing the lid. The most lasting impression left on me was the shadow falling across dad's face as the lid came down, me seeing his lovely face for the last time ever.

The procession to the cemetery took us through the boughs of the westside; Broad St to Hague, Hague to Mound, Mound to Harmon, and Harmon into Greenlawn cemetery. Grave side service delivered by the pastor. Fittingly, he used a flashilight as a prop and metaphor brilliantly. We suggested that folks stay for the lowering of the casket into the vault and ultimately into the ground. I asked if I could toss in the first handful of dirt. Soon others followed suit, including all the great grand kids. It was sweet. There was a funny moment too, when grandson Landon suggested that if we tossed in dirt handful by handful that "it would take all day". That brought laughter to everyone. Dad would've loved it too. Another funny moment was when grandson Wally (aka Matthew) opted to pick-up a large rock with his handful of dirt. I had to advise that he not toss it in.

Brother Glenn and cousin Mike opted to stay behind to watch the full burial while the rest of us headed out. Mindy and I headed back to the funeral home to pick-up the photos, flowers, and music. Char stopped by too, to pick-up a couple of the flower baskets. We headed home for a quick change into comfy, casual clothing then off to brother Bob's for the wake.

With it being so warm - about 93 - the kids looked forward to swimming in Bob's pool. Out of town family members hung with us at Bob's for a couple hours before getting on the road for home. We hung out till 6pm or so. Mindy invited Bob and his family to join us at our house for dessert. Truth is, I could've fallen asleep then. I was completely exhausted and had to work on Friday. At home, we dug into the yummy food that neighbor Terri made for us: a giant tub of homemade rigatoni, salad and rolls.

We hung out for a couple more hours. Later, or just after Bobby and his family headed home, Chrissy and Terri came over. They were still hanging with Glenn when Mindy and I headed for bed.

Friday June 12th represented the other side of life without dad. I did my usual routine and worked from home just like most other Friday's. And as hard as it was, it was time to switch into wedding mode with her big event coming the following Saturday, June 20th. We had lots of details and loose ends to tie up leading up to the big day.

That evening we took the kids and Glenn to Barley's and later Sideswipe. It was a welcome return to some level of normalcy.

Saturday, June 13th

After a run, the whole family headed over to dad's place to begin the clean-up process, both of the lawn and garage. We met there near 10am. Glenn opted to man the tractor while the rest of us worked in the garage or around the flower beds. I dug up the old withered rose bush I have admired for years, and the same one that dad encourage me to take a year or so ago. I also dug up a baby oak tree that was taking root aside the foundation. Its leaves were yellow, apparently lacking important nutrients, likely iron.

There were many laughs as we cleaned the garage. Dad has so many tools it's not funny. We worked for about 5 hours, which proved to be a very cathartic experience.

We attended two parties that evening; neighbor Pat & Lisa's daughter Alanna's graduation party, and then later, neighbor Kenny's 40th bday celebration. Both were a good time. Both parties offered brisket as an entree. Pat prepared his own. Chrissy got theirs from City Barbeque. Both delicious.

We headed home just as Kenny's party was getting heated up. Following us home were Ben & Ryan. Nephew Joe was at the house too. The five of us hung out for the next few hours. Glenn joined us a little later. Had a really nice time. Ben, Ryan and Joe spent the night.

Sunday, June 14th

Sunday was the day we sat aside to celebrate all the Thompson family June birthdays: Lindey, Joe, Jeff and mamaw. We did so at Jodie & Larry's place. That was a nice time and another event that helped us return to a somewhat normal routine. We were there for about 3 hours.

Once home, Mindy and I headed over to dad's place to see how Glenn was doing on the lawn. We spent a few minutes looking through more of dad's things and I even took a couple minutes to repair the toilet tank. Before heading home, I picked out one of dad's old familiar flannel shirts. Weather permitting, I thought i might wear it to the planned Father's Day bonfire the following Sunday.

Monday - Friday June 15 - 19

I was scheduled to be in a work related training class each morning for the next 13 business days beginning Monday, June 15th. In kind, to accommodate the training, I planned to work from home. The weather forecast for the week ahead, including Ashley's wedding day, called for lots and lots of rain.  With the exception of a 3 or 4 day stretch during the second week of June (6/9-6/11) it's been a very cloudy, rainy late spring, early summer.

Despite the raining forecast, each day offered brief moments of sunshine. Tuesday evening, immediately after dinner, Mindy and I headed to the Grandview Yard Giant Eagle Market District to purchase the alcohol for Ashley's wedding reception. Dropped around $400. Between the flowers and booze, we easily saved a ton (perhaps $1500) by doing it ourselves.

Wedding flowers arrived Wednesday via FedEx and UPS. Mindy took ownership of making table arrangements and  bouquets. Thank you dear!

Thursday David & Anita came into town arriving near 430pm. Just ahead of their arrival, Mindy and I visited Big Al, Kelly's father who has been ill since late winter and has taken a turn for the worse. We visited with him for an hour or so. We went to Joe's Rusty Bucket for dinner.

Friday was wedding rehearsal and venue decorating day, though not until 4pm. After training and between rain showers, I managed to get the lawn cut.

David & Anita opted to help us, join us at the wedding rehearsal. Mostly cloudy day with just a few very brief smatterings of sunshine. From the Tall Timbers outdoor wedding venue, we watched a coyote carry off and tear into his prey, likely a bunny. Most of the below 10's wanted to go after it. We called them back for fear of attack.

The rehearsal left Mindy & I a bit concerned mostly because some of the kids were a bit unruly and a couple participants absent or seemingly more concerned with puffing their cigarettes. But we got through it. Afterwards, about 30 of us met up at The Hickory House for the rehearsal dinner hosted by Steven's father and step mom, Steven & Angela.

Enjoyed a beer from the bar while awaiting seating. The venue was fine but ill equipped to handle a crowd as large as ours. The service was good and so was the food. All in all, a good time had by all. Thanks Steven/Angela.

Saturday, June 20 - Ashley & Steven's Big Wet Wedding Day

The forecast called for rain all day. I ran in the rain around 8am. No big deal. Noticed a few Bob Evans gift card backs lying in neighbor lawns. When I got back home I discovered Glenn fretting over the fact that someone rifled through Dad's minivan, not stealing a handful of dad's gift cards, but also the $200 Macy's gift card he purchased the day before from Macy's. Apparently one of the doors doesn't lock automatically with the others. Sad!

Despite the ugly forecast, Mindy held out hope that the rain would go into hibernation between 1030 & 130pm. That didn't happen. Mindy and Bella left for the wedding around 9am or an hour or more before the rest of us. I had to help Jacob, Rocky, and Landon get ready (tie their ties). Glenn rode with David and Anita. The boys rode with me.

Poured rain not only during the drive out, but for the duration of the afternoon. I didn't tell anyone, but not only did the forecast call for a lack of sunshine, but also the rainiest forecast of the year with up to 2" forecasted through the afternoon. Lucky for us, the Tall Timbers venue had a plan "B", which had the ceremony moved indoors in the same hall as the reception. The decision had been made around 930am and reception slightly altered to host the exchange of the nuptials.

I must say, walking daughter Ashley down the aisle was one of my life's highlights and an absolute honor. Sadly an honor I thought  might never happen given the life choices of each daughter. The wedding went far better than the rehearsal despite the altered plan. The Tall Timbers staff did a remarkable job, not only in pulling off plan "B' but making sure everyone was where they needed to be.

The little added touches: the homespun flowers, Sean the keyboardist, and brother Tommy singing went off as planned. The only thing missing was the presence of Ashley's two grandfather's, who only a few weeks prior, both planned to be there - Grandpa Glenn and Grandfather Al. Lindsey honored grandfather Al in her maid of honor speech, and I honored dad during my toast to the bride. I also dedicated the first song, Brandi Carlile, The Story. For me, the perfect song to kick off the dancing.

Fun was had by all. Though not the official wedding photographer, a special thanks goes out to brother Glenn who took 1600+ photos with my Canon D70. I'm sure there will be some gems amongst them. Can't wait to view and edit.

Mindy, David, Anita, Tommy & Wally, and Glenn hung out home for a spell. Mindy still quite buzzed from the reception ventured off to neighbor Pat's where we knew he, Lisa, Joe & Peggy were hanging out. We eventually joined them, wheeling a cooler full of beer over with us. And then, after hanging out for a while, Mindy walked home to fetch some of our musical instruments so we could do a jam session. A good time was had by all. Pat left briefly to fetch a big batch of wings from Minelli's. He said by accident he recently discovered that their wings are really good. He was right, they are delicious. Thinking it was near 1130pm when we headed for home.

Sunday, June 21st - Father's Day bonfire yard party at dad's

Slept later than I have in several days - weeks maybe. Not up until about 815am. Very happy to see sunshine! After a run and showers, Mindy, me, David and Anita headed off for brunch at CBC. Glenn opted out, instead heading over to dad's to further prepare the yard for that evening's yard party.

Brunch was nice. Think it was about 1130am when we arrived. I had chicken and waffles. Just OK. Enjoyed a couple mimosa's too. After brunch I suggested we make a quick run by dad's grave which is no more than a couple miles from CBC. Took a while to locate the exact spot. I believe he's in section #124 and along a thin paved trail leading towards a mausoleum, and then further off and behind it there's a large broadcast tower peering high above the surrounding skyline.

We weren't there too long. Much of the backfill has settled, so partly to the recent heavy rains. I'm told they'll address all of that. After leaving the cemetery, we headed straight to Tuttle Mall where I returned my wedding tuxedo. From there we headed home. Pretty sure that Mindy and Anita napped while David and I loaded up our gear (canopy, coolers, chairs, etc) for dad's bonfire. We headed over in the heat of the afternoon, but not before a quick stop at the Circle K for ice. Bobby and Glenn were already there, Bobby setting up, Glenn mowing the lawn. Tommy arrived just before we left again for home. Glenn and Bob headed home for showers ahead of the shindig.

Headed over to dad's place again around 345pm. David and I drove separate from the others so we could yet another pit stop at the drive-thru for a small bag of ice.

Best recall is that we hadn't had an event like this at dad's place since October 2004 when me & Dodie convinced dad to host his annual Halloween party. Hard to believe it's been almost 11 years. Great turnout for the bonfire / cookout. All the Wright boys and their significant others, kids, etc. Friends and family members too, including Uncle Kenny and aunt Char. Uncle Frank, Dodie and Keri, and Connie were there as well. Must have been 30-35 folks in total. We had more than enough meat, and plenty of side dishes to feed everyone.

We had volleyball setup too, just like the old days (early 80s and forward). I played a little, but mostly the youngest generation of gkids. As late afternoon turned into late evening we prepped for a bonfire. Most of the kindling and logs were wet from the recent rains, but we refused to be deterred. Meanwhile, Uncle Frank offered up his delectable dessert to a handful of family members, and brother Charles shared a few different varieties of moonshine. Just about the time we were struggling to get the bonfire going, we got word that Charles and Glenn were out of sorts back in dad's woods. Some things never change. Brings to mind the 80s when brother Charles was busy corrupting my girls in the woods with beer and cigarettes - and who knows what else. Once Mindy caught wind of the current shenanigans, she opted to head home with Jacobella, no wanting to risk them hearing, seeing their uncles buzzed out of their minds. Anita went home with her. David stuck around with me. By then it had to be near 10-1030pm, which was about the time that Darwin showed up after spending the evening calling Bingo at the church.

Remaining for the best part of the bonfire was me, David, Tommy, Wally ( who was asleep in a camp chair) Misty, Bunky, and Connie. Glenn and Charles were there too, but by then lying under the stars sleeping off their buzz up by the house. Tisk tisk!

Connie hung out with me, Tommy, Darwin and David until about 1am. We had a nice time around the fire. After checking on Glenn and Charles, David and I headed for home. Got into bed near 120am.

Monday - Friday, June 22-26

I was up around 615am despite not sleeping so well. After calisthenics, I felt pretty decent though no doubt still a bit under slept. I needed to get a move on in order to finish a 4 mile run and be ready at my desk for 830am training. David and Anita were up preparing to depart for home by my return, which had to be near 810am.

I woke Mindy with a cup of coffee at her bedside so she could bid our friends farewell. We said our goodbyes around 820am. Soon David & Anita were on the road for home. Joined my training class which went a full 4 hours. Immediately after, I headed over to dad's to retrieve the rest of our bonfire stuff: canopy, portable table, etc. Took down and organized Bob and Tom's stuff too. Picked up a lot of trash as well. Didn't want to leave a mess.

Glenn was up and about before I left. Went inside to chat with him just before heading home. He looked like hell, and still hungover from Sunday evenings antics. Encouraged him to head back to the house for a nap and shower.

Worked the rest of the afternoon. Didn't have anything major planned for the evening.

Ended up having four straight days without any rain (Sunday thru Wednesday), a very welcome addition to our early summer. June will go down as one of the cloudiest, rainiest in recent memory, though the last two summers have been rainy as well, but if memory serves, not until a bit later in the season. Two summer ago (summer 2013) we had almost two weeks of raining weather surrounding the 4th of July. And last year the rainy weather followed us to Ashville NC in mid July where one would typically expect lots of sunshine and heat. Instead, it was cool and rainy for the entire stay. It wasn't until we headed onto David and Anita's place the following week that the rain and cool temps moved on & out.

Thursday ushered in more clouds and rain, Ugh!!! Will it ever stop? Ran the usual 4 miles but this time in the rain